so much to blog, so little no time AT ALL.

i really have alot to blog, alot to say. but..

come back after jan.

loves.

i dont know why i have all these thoughts. everything's fine. maybe just being random. some might not be linked and some might not even make any sense why i am saying it.

i enjoy spending time alone. and i want to travel alone one day.

i like to do what i like. and i hate it when i need to answer for what i do. i dont mean anything illegal here.

i know what i am doing. and i never like being restricted.

i thank my parents for giving me almost 100% freedom. work or study. what course to take. being with who. putting tattoo. piercing. basically whatever i do..

i almost make all decisions myself and i cant recall anything they ever force me to do. so far, the only thing which i need permission from them is leaving the country.

for whatever remaining of 'my freedom' that they hold, i fully understand where they are coming from. and things will be different once i turn 21. permission will just become informing.

if you do not know it, i actually let them know before i pierced my lips and have my tattoo done, etc. they trust me to know what i am doing. and i respect them by informing or asking permission if necessary.

i am lovin' my parents' style and i swear i am going to just die, horribly, if i need to live with my in-laws next time. i think i will..

how does it feel like to be hiding a tattoo on your back?

how does it feel like when you cannot name your interest as interest? that you cannot publicly name alcohol and clubbing and tattoos and and and anything "taboo" as your interest? i am not sure, but some day i suppose i may need to check my entries over and over for "taboo" words, pictures or what.

how does it feel like to be tongue-tied and choked on almost all your words? when you actually love meeting people, love talking and is always good at striking conversations, if you want. i can be eloquent and at ease at meeting almost everyone, prolly except them.

how does it feel like that you need be that little miss goodie two shoe?

how to live up to things that even my parents dont expect from me?

some times i feel that I should withdraw myself from this relationship and stop living in denial that i could be a proper girlfren. laughs*

for the challenge and effort needed, girlfren should be an occupation and people should get paid for being one. people prolly gonna roll their eyes at this. sigh. yes yes, it prolly just apply to me or minority of people like me.

i might portray myself as very fierce. very nice. very friendly, or very unfriendly. very ah lian. very attitude. very bitchy. very good and guai. very playful. very mean. or whatever fuck you can name..

i portray..
portray: assume or act the character of

.. but i am who i am. prolly a mixture of everything and never just ONE of them. i am friendly and unfriendly. i can be nice and mean.

please dont restrict me to be just what you see.

anyway, watch so many movies recently. i am so not a movie junkie lah! but sometimes due to the pubors + boyfren. i can watch up to 3 movies a week, alot for me.

in the past 2 weeks.. i..

thegoldencompass-ed.
hitman-ed.
warlords-ed
alvinandthechipmunks-ed.

not sure if i missed out any. =/

p/s: theodore is cute lah! goodness.

caught nana movie on dvd - again. the movie made me miss my girlfrens. particularly hunnie, that 2 bitches and raine!

saw this on hunnie's blog the other day.

 
how true! i guess i am a typical taurus.

baby's. hmmm?

went to read my past entries and it brought back memories. about how we met, his shyness, and all. hahahah.

roar. i should just fuck off and get to bed.

i have lots to blog. but they can wait till next week when i am free.

i felt weird and need to read hunnie's blog when i woke up just now.

my heart ache after reading. but no, it is not sympathy.

i always feel that hunnie and i have this special bond. i have no idea why.. maybe it is because our similarities in character, in thinking, in lovelife.. but maybe it was our character and thinking that caused us to have similar scenarios in lovelife. lol.

we belong to the same independent league and we have our parents to thank. was it coincidence or what that our parents brought us up being independent and that we met and click so well?

sympathy, i know its the last thing she ever need. and it definitely is the last thing something i will ever NEVER give her.

i know she will survive. i'm sure. all i have to do is to be here, be her hunnie and one of her best confidante.

thats what hunnie is for, right?! loveloves, hunz!

p/s: hunz, we should be meeting anytime. that bitch will be back from canada soon, or is already back and have not call us. *roll eyes* anyway, STAYOVERS! god. i wonder how many fugly pictures will we produce this time. lol..

yesterday.. i screamed, i shouted, i hurled vulgarities.
and slammed the phone a couple of times.

then i fall asleep smiling.

i just have no idea how he always have a way with me.

i am quite a practical person, i won't mention forever or always or say he is the one because no one knows what will happen. but.. he makes me feel like it. fuck. i feel so small, so tiny, so weak.. with him.

i hate the way he always have a way with me.
i hate the way he always impress me.
i hate the way i feel helpless..
..helplessly in love.

bing and song.. i thought it was fugly. but since you both like it.. it shall be your christmas present. A2 size big enough anot? or your want A5 to paste on room door? or passport size for wallet? LOL.

hunnie, thats very fast leh! i haven start christmas shopping yet! =/ anyway, how?! next thursday? double O?

jen darling. duh~ OF COURSE I AM CUTE! LOL.

thanks sher!

tiffy, we haven confirm ktv leh. maybe sunday!